Monday, July 6, 2009

Just to give you a feel

Imagine you are sixteen. You've just been out for a run, something you always do after school. Only this time your run has left you thirsty. Not just a little dry in the throat, but parched. Every breath burns, you begin to feel light-headed, you see spots. You reach for the water fountain, but it's out of service. Up ahead, there's a starbucks. "They've gotta have some water" you think to yourself. So you drag yourself up the block, you very patiently wait in line, and when it's finally your turn, you ask for a cup of tap water. The woman behind the counter returns your question with a smile. "Why do you want water?" she asks. "Would you say that you're feeling thirsty?" You can't help but feel that that's a silly question, but you nod. The woman shakes her head sadly. "You're so young." she says. "How did you let yourself become so dehydrated?. " You have no answer. "Surely there must be a reason?" she presses. When you still have no answer she continues to ask you very detailed and personal questions both about your thirst and everything else up to and including your sex life. Now you are thinking "This must be some water." Finally the woman walks away. She returns without water or explanation. "Are you feeling better?" she asks. You reply that you still haven't had any water. The woman furrows her brow in concern. "I think maybe you need something more than water. How about some coffee? It'll make you jittery, keep you up at night, give you headaches and make you sick to your stomach, not to mention stunt your growth and hinder your brain development, but it will quench your thirst. For now." You're desperately thirtsty, so you try the coffee. After about half an hour, your thirst is back with a vengeance. You thank the woman for the coffee but say that you really feel that you need some water. "I know just the thing" she answers and again walks away. This time she returns with a bag of normal saline solution and an I.V. needle. You see the needle and flinch. "Really I just need some water" you protest. "It's too late for water. Your thirst is out of control. You really shouldn't have let it get this far," she answers, all the while coming closer and closer with the needle. You look to the other customers for help, but none of them even meet your eyes. Other employees are blocking the door. What now?

This is the best analogy I can think of for my interaction with the mental health care system, which will be the focus of this blog. I've spent eight years as a patient, and have also dabbled as a psychiatric nurse on an inpatient unit. Hopefully, this means I will have something helpful and interesting to say on the subject. I hope you enjoy

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